Monday, May 3

I'm starting our story from the day his deployment ended. These entries are composed from memory, my journal entries, and the notebook I used to log Jay's unusual behavior.


Trying Day

Jay rarely became aware at all today. He was stubbornly awake but never fully lucid. He had the day off and I really wanted him to just relax all day. The next day he was to begin the outpatient treatment and I knew he was nervous. But life had another direction. We went out for him to smoke but I immediately had to shuffle Jay and our boy back inside as I was witnessing a break-in at our neighbors house. Jay didn't catch on right away to what was happening. I would have loved to just pretend I didn't see anything so I could let Jay skip the drama that would follow. But, of course, I called the police and waited for the mess to unfold.

I didn't know the address of the house that was being broken into as it was behind us. It was irrelevant anyway because the man had darted out of the house when we had gone outside. So, the cop came to my house. I met him before he could come in and tried to quickly explain to not startle my husband. He understood and was very polite. He went about his policeman business at the house behind us but left his car in front of my house blocking our car. Another police car was now parked behind his. Wonderful. Not only does the whole neighborhood know that I have called the cops, they are all out wondering what's going on.

Thru it all, there is poor Jay, looped out of his mind from his medication, teetering on the edge of sanity from this stupid disorder, and all our neighbors are gathered around to find out what's going on. This is to be expected and was actually kind of helpful as there has been a string of break-ins to peoples' vehicles lately. The truck across the street from my house was broken into not long before Jay came home. A couple months before that, a guy had come to my door late at night. I didn't answer the door but spoke to him thru the window. He was trying to sell me a GPS he had pulled from his pocket. Thru talking to my neighbors I learned that he had tried to sell it to another guy as well and then another neighbor spoke out and said it was HIS device that had been stolen! What a world. I am now afraid to go into my own backyard. This jerk smashed in the neighbors window (which is right behind my house) at 2 in the afternoon in broad daylight. What else is he capable of?

After the excitement wore down Jay decided we needed to go finish our business at the BMV. I wrote earlier that we had gone before but just as we were paying our bill, the entire state's computer system crashed. So we made our way over there shortly before closing time and walked up to the door to see a sign stating that they couldn't accept debit cards at the moment and they were sorry for the inconvenience. We have an out of state bank and there was no time to gather up the cash so we just decided to come back another time.

We got back to the car and I saw a little black truck in the parking lot with the Airborne emblem on the back window. Days before, in this very parking lot, we had met a little old man from the 2-504, which is Jay's old unit. They had talked a little bit but we left with nothing more than a handshake. Jay was upset that he hadn't asked the man for his number so he could take him out for lunch. Could this be our chance? We waited in the car for the man to come out. Yes, it WAS him. I was so excited. I went up to him and asked if he remembered us. He did. I told him a little bit about Jay's story before Jay could get out of the car. He asked to exchange numbers so we could get together sometime. The man was so nice and I'm sure he was a little shocked by all the attention. Jay just felt such an attachment to him and I felt such an attachment to someone who had made my husband so happy. I'm sure the man wasn't expecting all that for just driving to the BMV.

When we first ran into the man I told Jay that maybe it was destiny that they meet. If the system hadn't gone down when it did and we hadn't waited fruitlessly for it to come back up we never would have met the man. I said that maybe Jay was meant to give that old vet a boost that day by showering him with admiration. Now, I'm convinced that it's so much more than that. Why would their paths cross twice like that? If there hadn't been a break in at our neighbor's house we would have left much earlier in the afternoon to go to the BMV. But as it happened, there they were, two generations from the 2-504 exchanging handshakes in the parking lot again. Maybe they never actually meet for lunch. But something happened that afternoon. Maybe Jay helped that man in a way that I'll never know. Who knows? It was no coincidence. That much is true.

With all the excitement from the day Jay crashed on the couch as soon as we walked inside. I would have left him there all night but Dr. W called and said that he wanted Jay admitted the next day instead of fooling with the outpatient treatment. This meant that I had to drive all the way back up to Aunt B's house. (Aunt B is Jay's aunt and the ONLY woman who watches our boy). That's almost a two hour drive. But I knew that admitting Jay the next day was going to be a big deal and I didn't need little Rush (as he likes to be called) to be there witnessing it or interfering with it.

I was able to wake Jay to explain what was going on. I got everyone to the car and made the long journey to Aunt B's and Grannie's house. They live in the same apartment complex so when we see one, we see the other. By the time we got home it was 1:30am and I was worn down. But Jay couldn't sleep. He was too nervous about the next day. He can't be alone in the tub and I struggled to stay awake as he had yet another bath around 2:30am. I finally fell asleep at around 3am and woke up when the alarm went off at 4:45am to find Jay fully dressed in his ACUs almost ready for formation.