Wednesday, June 9, 2010

In-Laws and Lots and Lots of Lasagna

It seems like it has been forever since I've updated. Every day there is something new that I want to add but it seems like I can never sneak away to the computer for a few uninterrupted minutes. I really miss our laptop. I could be anywhere in the house, typing til my heart's content, without a twinge of guilt. But now that I have to get on the Ol' Dinosaur in the back room it's very obvious that I'm neglecting something/someone. My laptop died a few months ago and instead of taking it in to someone who might be able to fix it, Jay has decided he wants to give it a go. I'm nervous because according to You tube instructions for our particular problem there is soldering involved. I'm sure Jay is capable of fixing it. I just don't want his shaky hands to cause him to fail and ruin his day. I'd rather just not have the silly thing than for him to have another reason to be depressed.

He's had so many good days lately. (I'm afraid to type that out.) I know he's had bad moments within those days but at least he's been lucid most days. We did have a rough night Saturday. We had a leaking pipe that happened to be in the closet. The dripping of the water and the smell of the pipe reminded him of Haditha Dam which is a place he slept for a while. This of course led to thinking of other stupid Iraq crap, thus tossing him down the rabbit hole for pretty much the rest of the night. He was pretty much gone by the time we got back from Lowe's with the pieces to fix the pipe. He sat on the floor while I crawled inside the closet. He fixed the broken pieces while in a complete fog and handed them off to me to screw in. It was excruciatingly slow and what would have been a five minute job took over an hour. But our water was turned off and we had no idea when he'd return to normal. Luckily for me my husband takes two or three (or more) baths a day so being without water wasn't an option for him, even when he was a zombie.

Monday my in-laws were supposed to come down for a visit. They flaked, of course. But they said they would be here Tuesday. It would be Jay's brother, sister-in-law, their three kids, my other-mother and her grand daughter whom she is raising. I spent the whole day scrubbing my house and baking. I made cookies and assembled a Reese's dessert. I put together a big lasagna and had it ready in the fridge. I bought snacks for the kids. In my heart I knew they weren't really coming but I went thru the motions just in case. They were supposed to be here around 3pm. Jay texted his brother at 5pm asking where they were. It turns out they couldn't come because they got stuck dog sitting. They didn't even bother to call. This is the same brother and sister-in-law who didn't even call Jay while he was in the hospital. When he was admitted I even personally called my sister-in-law and gave her Jay's address and number and told her how important it was that he hear from them. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I give up on this family. Truly, I do not know where I'm supposed to summon up the grace to remain civil to these people.

So, now I'm stuck with this giant lasagna. My husband has no appetite and eats just enough to stay alive. I have one child allergic to milk products and another who thinks cheese is gross (WHAT?). I only made the dumb thing because it was something that feeds a lot of people and I could prepare it ahead of time. I suppose I could just pop it into the freezer but I don't have a lot of space. This just makes me so mad. My next door neighbor is a single mom. I've never really spoken to her but she has two tweens so maybe she'd appreciate the night off from cooking dinner. I also have a single neighbor across the street. She probably doesn't make giant lasagnas for herself so maybe I'll bake it up and split it with her. That would be weird, "Howdy, neighbor. Here's half of our dinner. Bon Appetit!" If my in-laws ever do come to visit I am setting out a plate of Saltines and Kraft cheese slices and that's it.


  1. Heck Emme, I'd serve them saltines and SPIT! (you of course, are too gracious for that!)
    But really, outraged on your behalf and fervently wishing them parking tickets and indigestion!
    Glad to hear about the good days, we've been thinking about you.

  2. Emme, I am so glad to hear from you! Forgive me, I mother everyone. I am so glad Jay has had some good days. Just hang on to those. May I offer a suggestion - from my own experience. Don't waste your time with the in-laws. Concentrate on your family - Jay and your children. You need everything you have to take care of them. And believe me, they are not worth giving yourself an ulcer.
    As for the lasagna - I'll take some!! Seriously, share with your neighbors. Just tell them you had a dinner planned but something came up. No need to explain further. And you might make some new friends. Besides the ones you have here!
    Send me an email at about what is wrong with your laptop. My daughter and son-in-law are computer gurus. They might be able to offer suggestions.
    Big, big hugs and blessings

  3. Totally agree with Erin - except that saltines and spit might be too good for those folks. I'm sorry you guys are stuck with such crap-tacular family members. I'd share with your neighbors - Patricia is right on with that one. Here's hoping for continued good days and non-leaky pipes... (((hugs)))

  4. Thanks guys. I think less-than-stellar inlaws are a universal dilemma. If you have ones that are even tolerable I think you are blessed. Jay's grandmother and aunt have been wonderful to me over the years so I would never lump them in with the others. So, I guess two great inlaws out of the bunch are more than my fair share:)